U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
