Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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