Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize