THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
NoShamevember. You game?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
