It's just like the Real World with babies
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
