hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
