it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
the night ended with taco bell and tears
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
