I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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