the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
