new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
