i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
