Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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