ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
