VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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