Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You're like the curious george of whores
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
there is glitter all over my balls
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
