we have officially lost it.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Randomize
