I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize