i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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