Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
