I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
