I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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