after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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