Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
