kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
