this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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