Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
