is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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