I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
You pole danced in your parka.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
