I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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