whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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