Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
