So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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