Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
