Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
