Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
