Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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