i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
