i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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