yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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