weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
