Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
