Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
