explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
