I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
