we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
