whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
