is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
