The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
