Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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