Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
