No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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