what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
