I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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