i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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