dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Randomize
