frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
she told me i tasted like america
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
