Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
