clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
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