How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize