I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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