I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
