you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize