I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
